Kathiey's World

Need Stress Relief? Try Taking a Bath. Life has a way of piling things on. Work, relationships, responsibilities, the nonstop mental chatter that follows you from room to room. We all need a release valve, and most of us are looking for one that does not require a gym membership or an hour we do not have. I am not typically a bath person. Showers have always been my go-to. But when I started reading about the therapeutic benefits of a warm bath, I was genuinely surprised. The research is real, and the benefits go deeper than just relaxing your muscles.   What a Warm Bath Actually Does for You Before I tried this myself, I did some reading. Here is what I found: Improves your mood  and acts as a natural mood booster Reduces stress and anxiety , giving your nervous system a chance to downshift Releases muscle tension and soreness , making your whole body feel looser and lighter Helps you fall asleep  more easily afterward Stimulates circulation  and calms the nervous s...

I chose this verse for New Year's Day because it speaks of "future" and "hope."  Not only a future and a hope but a blessing wherein God says he plans to prosper and not harm us.  Happy Day!  Life is going to be a piece of cake from now on. I will have a ton of money and be joyous in the future that awaits me.  Well, it may not be that easy.   As I read a few commentaries on this verse, I found that Jeremiah was writing to God's people who were in exile.  They did not have a carefree life; they were outcasts. At that time, this verse was a blessing of comfort to the people who received it, as it was for me when I faced the betrayal at the hands of my husband and the demise of my decade's long marriage. I leaned heavily on this verse to get me through each day, each minute.  I do believe in the context of the scripture and that God does want us to have a wonderful future and hope for each day.   In one writing, I found that to prosper means to grow...

 Let's continue on with our series on stress relief and self-care. Today let's take a look at Baking and Stress Relief. So how can baking reduce your stress, you may ask?  According to a site called Teeo Creations , baking is a form of comfort and also a distraction from our stress.  This distraction from whatever is causing our stress helps us decrease the stress hormones that come along with excess stress, at least momentarily.  Baking can give us a break from our stress and anxiety. Here is a quote from their site... "A study conducted by the University of Toronto found that baking is good for your mental health. The study found that participants who baked “felt less stressed, had more patience,  and were more creative than those who didn’t bake.” According to Step One Charity ... "Baking has been shown to be extremely beneficial for boosting mental health, with advantages such as enhanced mindfulness, satisfaction, and sensory pleasure. Bakers who suffer fro...

 Let's continue our series on Self-Care and Stress Relief.   Today, let's take a look at Stress Relief and Music. Music can make us feel good...listening to the right music can change our mood. Listening to music can stimulate dopamine in our brain, also known as the feel-good hormone in our body.  Music can be used as a therapeutic tool to reduce stress, promote healing, and improve one’s overall emotional well-being. "In addition to helping human beings experience positive emotions, listening to music has also been associated with improving our physical health and well-being." Michiagan State University The ability to listen to music is available to nearly everyone.  It is usually low cost, and there is a genre for everyone. "Contemporary research suggests music has significant power to help reduce stress and anxiety, relieve pain, and improve focus, among many more benefits." Psych Central Music affects us both mentally and physically. According to a  stu...

  I am sitting here thinking about my third book that will be related to finging joy in our journey.  I guess we should start with the basics...What is Joy?    According to Webster, Joy is...  "... a feeling of great pleasure or happiness that comes from success, good fortune, or a sense of well-being: gladness..something that gives joy."   Joy is an emotion as well as a state of mind.  I think joy comes from within.  To have a joyful spirit is not connected to external events and happenings.  Finding joy is also finding contentment with who we are, not wishing we were someone else.  Even when times get tough, and they will, we can still have joy. My next post on Joy will focus on how we can become content with who we are and our life situation so that we not only find joy but maintain our joy.  I would love any feedback that you could share.  Please post in the comment box or shoot me a note at kathieyvwriter@gmail.com I wish ...

The stress levels that we experience can directly affect our physical, emotional, and mental health.  Divorce is listed as one of the most stressful events in a person's life.  Having experienced the pain and stress of divorce, I decided I would look for some ways to decrease the effects of stress in my life.  Here is one suggested way. Enjoy some time in the Sun.   I came across a site that said if you want to achieve some level of stress relief in your life that you should give sitting in the sun a try.  I know what you are thinking, I may get sunburned, the sun is not really good for my skin,  I may get hot and sweaty, and I too have to worry about skin cancer. Yes, all of those are legitimate worries but I believe that most things done in moderation can be a good thing. The Pain Relief Center says that the sun gives you healthier skin, encourages your brain to release chemicals that help you feel better, and reduces stress. A positive effect of sunligh...

As you know, I have written two books. I started writing when my ex walked out after a 37-year marriage. I was devastated and completely lost in my newfound reality. My first book is all about the initial pain and confusion. My second book is filled with logistics on how to proceed through the divorce process, and my third will be about Joy. I remember that even in my deep depression during the early separation and divorce days, I was seeking joy.  I am not really sure if I realized it at the time, but I was.  My goal, other than just breathing during this most difficult time in my life, was to seek God's beauty even in the pain.  In seeking and finding God's beauty, the byproduct would be joy.    Here is a poem I wrote early in the painful process... I think in finding God's beauty and finding joy you find hope.  I believe they all go hand in hand.  If we search past the pain to seek hope, then we can have joy in our lives. As I begin to write about ...

One thing that may be a bit scary or uncomfortable for the newly single is the prospect of eating out alone.  Over my years as a divorced woman, I have taken myself out to eat on many occasions.  Let's take a look at some helpful tips to help us on our dining solo adventure. Dining alone is a form of self-care.  It is one way for us to take care of ourselves.  We do this by dressing the part and taking ourselves to the restaurant of our choice where we can relax, unwind, and enjoy a wonderful meal that we don't need to prepare ourselves.   In this way, we feel a bit catered to and maybe even a little bit special. Many solo diners feel nervous about going to a restaurant alone. Some feel they will be judged by others or pitied because they lack a companion. According to an article called  Eating Alone? The new American diner flies solo , 57% of people dinning our are solo diners.  I would say that most people don't judge those of us who dine solo. ...

Memories "Something remembered from the past, a recollection." I remember reading a book titled, "Before I Go to Sleep" by S. J. Watson.  As I am reading, I am always looking for quotes that touch an emotional chord in me.  The storyline of the book is centered around a woman who has lost her memory. She regains bits and pieces of her memory throughout her day, and then she falls asleep at night and loses it all again.   The quote I underlined and that touched me the most was this  "A ripple across the surface of the lake of memory."   There have been significant changes in my life over the years, and it has not been easy.  I do my best to give it to God.  I don't allow myself to think much about my past because I tend to gravitate to the pain.  After reading this quote, I decided to let myself remember. I allowed myself to remember the good. I remember Dave.  As my Dad was dying, he said, "Dave, take care of your sister," and he did. ...

 My second book comes out in January.  I have put together 30 days of prayers as a free gift for those who receive my book.  It is called My Story My Divorce God's Promise- Journey.  This book follows my first book My Story My Divorce God's Promise-The Beginning . Because God Loves Me, I Can Sing There is beauty to be found even in the painful events of life.  At first, it may be hard to find but keep looking, and eventually, you will be able to sing. God Bless You on Your Journey! KathieyV

 How many times have you heard someone going off about someone in a negative way?  In your mind, you may be thinking, "Wait a minute, that can't be right." Or maybe you are listening to an ex-spouse saying how crazy his ex is, and you are taking it in at face value as fact.  I would say wait before you judge, think again.  Many ex-spouses, especially narcissists, tend to say some pretty bad things about the ex in order to build themselves up or to make themselves look like the victim.   Here is what was said on  Quora "Talking bad about you validates him/her. A narcissist, at their core, are insecure and anxious with low self-esteem. All ex-partners are evidence of a failure. This is threatening to them on many levels, so they need everyone around them to know that the relationship failed because their partner was a bad partner." "Narcissists need to validate their failings by pinning blame on someone else." I found typical lies a narcissist tell about...

  I love this quote by Madam C J Walker, and it is so appropriate not only to those of us going through a divorce but for anyone. In the case of divorce, your life is upended, and you don't know where to turn or what to do.  Many of us feel we should hide away and wait for opportunities to change or enhance our lives.  Unfortunately, that usually does not happen.  Many times if we want opportunities, we have to make them. I believe there are times when we need to wait.  Wait for the right moment, or wait until we are more prepared.  But we should not always wait.  The old saying "good things come to those who wait" I don't always believe.  I think we have to make things happen. If you want a new job, you don't wait for the job to come to you.  You search the want ads, obtain the proper education in your area of interest, and then seek out what you want.  If you only waited and took no action, there would more than likely be no job. ...

 Monthly Motivation for June of 2023. I had recently finished the book "The Help"  When I found out there was a movie, I could not wait to see it. There were many times in the movie I found myself angry at the injustice and other times touched by the tenderness. The love in the quote repeatedly spoken by Aibileen to the little girl in her care touched my heart. "You is kind. You is smart. You is important"  Words we all need to hear when we are little and continue to need to hear as we age.  They are words of encouragement, support, and love.  In our humanness, we sometimes fail to encourage others with words they may desperately need to hear.  Sometimes we fail to give the hugs, the support, the time that we could share with others.  We get caught up in life and its problems, its busyness.   In the times when we feel alone, when we feel unimportant or feel downright stupid, we need to remember that is not how God feels.  To God, we are...

Each week I hope to share a quote with you.  Some will be inspirational, some heartfelt, some deep,  but all will give you something to think about. All of us will experience trauma on some level in our lives.  It may be physical, emotional, or both, but either way, we can come out on the other side of such trauma.   I agree with the quote by Carl Jung, for the most part.  I guess it depends on how much damage has been done as to how fast and if we can "choose" what we become.  That being said, I think no matter what the pain in our life has been that we need to fight for what we "choose to become" and what we can become...hopefully we can become our best selves in lieu of our circumstances. For some, after a major trauma, it will take baby steps.  Just the choice to take that baby step can lead us closer to what we want to become.  In a sense, we are, at least in part, what happened to us.  We have been damaged in some way, which has changed...

 I found I could relate to this quote by Aristotle.  My divorce was the darkest time in my life.  The only way I could begin to see even a flicker of light was when I put my faith, my hope, and my fears in God's hands.   If you are on this journey, I hope you are able to see a light.  If not, keep looking, and you will because even though it may seem hidden, it is there. God Bless You! KathieyV

I love the story of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15:11-32. Why? Because it is an example of God's abundant Grace on which I lean so heavily. It is a picture of God's love for us, for me. In church yesterday, the Pastor spoke of how the son in this parable had turned his back on his father. How he squandered all he had given him, and how he became desperate without his father in his life. How he then returned to his father and was lovingly accepted back into his father's house because he was so loved. And even though the son did not deserve it, his father forgave all his foolishness, and the slate was wiped clean. Years ago, there was a song that I would listen to that would bring tears to my eyes each time I heard it. It is a song by Benny Hester called "When God Ran."  "And the only time,   the only time I ever saw Him run   Was when   He ran to me,   Took me in His arms, held my head to His chest   And said "My son's come home again."   Look...

 One thing that may be a bit scary or uncomfortable for the newly single is the prospect of eating out alone.  Over my years as a divorced woman I have taken myself out to eat on many occasions.  Let's take a look at some helpful tips to help us on our dining solo adventure. Dining alone is a form of self-care.  It is one way for us to take care of ourselves.  We do this by dressing the part and taking ourselves to the restaurant of our choice where we can relax, unwind and enjoy a wonderful meal that we don't need to prepare ourselves.   In this way, we feel a bit catered to and maybe even a little bit special. Many solo diners feel nervous about going to a restaurant alone. Some feel they will be judged by others or pitied because they lack a companion. According to an article called  Eating alone? The new American diner flies solo , 57% of people dining out are solo diners.  I would say that most people don't judge those of us who dine sol...

The post below was written back in 2018 while Hurricane Florence was making landfall off the coast of NC.  Much has happened in the world since that time.  Much of life has been very good, but there are things that are the opposite happening every day.  There is crime, illness, the Covid pandemic, and now a war in Ukraine.  I think the below post has relevance in all situations in our lives, and I felt like sharing it again. The Fear of Florence 2018 When you think about it, life can be scary.  Hurricane Florence visited North Carolina this week.  On the coast, there was and still is massive flooding.   Countless homes have been destroyed by falling trees and floodwaters.  Looters have hit the streets in many cities devastated by the storm.  Many have died. As I sit here typing, we are still getting storm bands caused by Florence.  We are under a flash flood warning in our county.  It is loudly thundering and pouring rain outside, ...

**This is a memory of the day I was baptized at CrossPoint Church. 2013** I remember distinctly the day I was baptized.   I was 18 years old.  A large group of us in a country field stood in front of a large pond.  We all lined up and then took turns being baptized through immersion into the cold pond water.  I remember it being a fantastic experience.  I was giving myself over to God. Here we are many years later.  Over those years, there has been great joy, lots of mistakes, and hopefully learning from each of them, the pain of illness and death, the birth of two beautiful girls, and the gift of Caleb, my grandbaby. Today I struggle with the pain of an unwanted separation and pending divorce, which to me, is like a death but with intent.  Through this trauma, I  have a greater appreciation of the gift of friends and the increasing knowledge of God's love for all of us. Yesterday I went to Cross Pointe Church.  I went by myself, and ...

If there is one stairway to heaven for me, it is music.  The Christian songs that I listen to inspire me and soothe my soul.  In them and their message, I find hope and direction. This song is a blast from my past.  We used to sing it in church, yes the church in which my ex-was the pastor.   I find its words to be real in my life...I will share a few of the lyrics that speak to me, and I hope to you.  "Without You I fall apart You're the one that guides my heart" Chris Tomlin Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Psalm 25:5 There are two times in my life so far that I feel I fell apart.  Times I felt in which I was bewildered and thought I could not continue.  The first time was when I was caring for my father while he was dying of pancreatic cancer.  I felt helpless and afraid, and I called out to God for help and guidance.  As I look back at that time, I rea...