Journal Prompt-Describe Your Greatest Phobia

Describe Your Greatest Phobia

What is my greatest phobia, you ask? I looked up the definition of phobia to make sure I answered the question correctly.  A phobia is "an extreme or irrational fear of or aversion to something." With the definition of phobia firm in my mind, I would say that I have had two phobias in my lifetime. The two things that have scared me the most are bees (not honey bees, I am talking wasps, hornets, and yellow jackets) and public speaking. 

I no longer have what I would have described as a phobia of bees. I wouldn't say I like stinging insects, but this phobia was a part of my life from my childhood into my twenties. I can tell you the source of this phobia. It was my older brother Jimmy. Jim was five years older than me, and he loved to scare me. One way he found satisfaction was in chasing me with half-dead wasps. Jimmy would somehow attach a bee to a stick and chase me as I went screaming through the fields and woods of our country childhood home. He never took the liberty to sting me, but the threat was just as terrifying. If I were to encounter a wasp or other vespid today, I would leave them alone unless I am in an indoor space and can't get away. If this should occur, I have my six-foot bee spray to rescue me. 

Public speaking has always been a horrifying thought to me. As a child, I was shy, and the idea of getting up in front of others was far beyond something I ever wanted to do. I remember giving a speech in nursing school. I was well prepared for my speech as I walked to the front of the class.  Walking to the podium is all I remember until my talk was over. I returned to my seat, drenched in sweat, not knowing if I passed the assignment. When I received my grade, it was an "A," but I can't remember giving the speech because this, for me, was traumatizing. 

Here I am now, knowing I can avoid bees for the most part. I do not have a problem with honey bees or bumblebees. I will avoid all the other stinging insects. I no longer panic at the threat of a bee as I did when I was a child. 

I do find that I would like to become comfortable with public speaking. I don't want to avoid public speaking altogether. I could speak about something I genuinely believe in, such as sharing my divorce experience to help others through the divorce process. Hopefully, I can find an opportunity to promote my book and let others know they are not alone in this painful process. I could conquer public speaking if I thought I was in some way helping someone else. 

Kathiey V